Little Lady, Big Problems

TW: mental health, bipolar, suicide

Well I did not think I would ever be public about this issue but here it is.

I am a 22 year old black woman in the South, and I have anxiety and bipolar.

Now, you may be thinking "Tiarra, who cares?" Someone out there does. I spend most of my alone time crying, depressed and so deep in negative thought it is quite scary. In April (2018), I had an explosive episode and tried to commit suicide. That incident sent me to a mental health facility for a while and I finally got the help I needed. Medicine helps, but it does not cure. Herbs and supplements help, but they do not cure.

From the time I wake up, to the time I go to sleep, I am in constant battle with myself over the smallest things. I wish more people could understand the daily struggle I have with these two monsters on my shoulder. I am slowly, but surely, learning how to manage them. I have my good days, but I also have my bad days. Earlier, I mentioned my race. I am black, as we all can see. Why is that important? Because in the Black community, mental illness is a "white people" thing and I really hate that stigma. Mental illness is a "thing" any living creature can have. Wild animals can be depressed. Humans can be depressed. Stop putting a race on everything, please. It would be easier to just start helping one another and checking on your friends versus putting all that negative energy into separating which race gets to have mental health issues.

Many people paint me out to be this happy-go-lucky, always smiling and cracking jokes type of person. Don't assume because you always see a smile that I am always happy. Please PLEASE check on your friends. You never know what is wrong on the inside.

I love all of you guys. I know what it is like to feel like you have no one even if there is fifty people standing in front of you. You are not alone. ❤️